It's magic You can do anything!
by PaintAndVitaminWater
Summary: An alternative to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, set following on from the end of Order of the Pheonix! Please R&R


Hi, this is Paint (and Vitamin Water)! We decided to write a fanfic in which we write one or two lines each, to see what happens! This is the result of our labours!

It's magic.. you can do anything

Chapter One

Is saturday morning. The neighbourhood was silent. Sitting at the window of one of the houses on Privet Drive, Professor McGonagall inspected her impeccably groomed tail as she waited for Harry to return from his morning run. As she thought back to the previous three weeks of training she couldn't help but think that the somewhat irritating and unimpressive Neville Longbottom would have made it this far into the training. As she was watching the road she saw a black limo slowly driving backwards up the driveway of Number 5 Privet Drive. Such grandiose could only be seen in the great hall of Hogwarts on a starry night on halloween.

"It's a beautiful car isn't it professor?" said a voice behind her.

The professor turned, startled, and then smiled at the naked mole rat sitting behind her.

"Why hello, nice seeing you here Professor Snape." eyeing the mole rat over the top of her glasses.

Recently, her feline eyesight had been decaying, a result of her continual aging, and she had taken to mistaking the poor professor for a mole rat more and more frequently, which of course she was very amused by. There had to be some benefits to growing old and slow, you see.

Another thing that had occurred to her was that if Harry and his friends were like his parents they were in for a world of shit, so to speak. Yesterday she had observed Harry and Ron teary-eyed over Harry and Hermione's new relationship. Ron had caught them in a very compromising position on the front page of the Daily Prophet. Of course, the relationship was all a set-up to tempt Lord Voldemort into attacking the muggle neighbourhood where they were currently holed up. They had surrounded the locality with some of the bravest, most committed and certainly most patient of the Order to guard the area. Armed with the latest of WWW devices that the twins had spent weeks concocting, the Order members would pose a fierce challenge to any Death Eaters, despite their odd arsenal.

"Are they ready? Actually, are YOU ready?" Professor Snape asked, as he watched a tall thin blonde emerge from the limo. McGonagall brushed up against her slippery friend's lean legs as she realised what he was talking about. "They get worse every generation, and trust me, it was bad the generation of Potter senior".

Dudley, who had lost a remarkable amount of blubber in the dusk of adolescence, and having moved to smeltings where he was forced to box kids who were older than him and not half his age, bounded up the stair, the door of Number 5 Privet Drive slamming behind him.

"At least James' generation had you, Severus", McGonagall purred, weaving through the younger academic's legs. Strangely the image of chicken legs came to the front of her mind but she quickly dispelled that thought.

Just below the window, a shuffling in the bushes was heard. When the professors looked, the noises ceased.

"Curiouser and curiouser", Severus murmered, quoting a tale by his favourite wizarding author. Minerva jumped up onto the roof, scampering along it and tranforming into her human form. Being a cat for the past few hours she quickly lost her balance, toppling off the narrow roof with a small yelp. She faintly registered a popping noise and arms engulf her to slow the decent. Looking into the eyes of Remus Lupin, she felt her heart rate increase sharply. She had, over the years, developed an acute physical attraction to the werewolf, despite considering him her intellectual inferior. Suddenly Remus was pushed away and the warm grey eyes were replaced with cold obsidian orbs of reflection. Her heart didnt change, infact she swore it increased. _What am I going to do?_ She wondered, blaming the hormonal spells she had cast in a pathetic attempt and futile attempt to ward off the progression of menopause. She felt more aroused than she had as a teenager when she had been given a 'wand' as a gag birthday present. Oh how she missed Woody.

The rustling noise could be heard again and all three adults' necks snapped towards the bush. Out came, coincedentally enough, Oliver Wood. Oliver had in his grip a set of three broomsticks, freshly out of the Weasley twins' broomstick modification room. He chucked one to each of his former professors, flashing a winning smile at McGonagall. Eyeing him up and down she took in his toned Quidditch body and felt the arousal even more. Not only that but the broomsticks were actually 'broomsticks' – rather than made of wood (Woody, Minerva chuckled to herself), the rods had been transfigured into lengths of chocolate.

The three began eating the chocolate rods. Almost immediately, their bodies responding to the endorphin explosion inside of them. Clearing her throat to get the attention of the other three, she slowly brought the rod in her hand up to her mouth and engulfed the whole thing in one go.

"What phallic imager -" Severus was cut off by the loud whooshing noise that bombarded the quartet as they were tossed into the air, disappearing in a flash from Number 10 Privet Drive.

Ten seconds later they found themselves in the empty atrium of the Ministry of Magic.

"Well hello there" said a soft baritone. Looking up McGonagall saw the choclate-y flesh of Shacklebolt.

As Minerva gazed in wonder at how the candlelight reflected off Shacklebolt's shiney scalp, the men clambered to their feet and began casting protective charms on the borders of the atrium.

"Your required infront of the entire wizengarmot. Follow me please." he said in his most formal voice while eyeing Mcgonagalls hair bun appreciatively.

Minerva hestitated on the floor. She thought it impolite to rush off before the most important member of the Order arrived. Dobby, the one with whom she had shared many passionate nights talking about one of her lovers, the infamous, Mrs Umbridge. _Mmmm I wonder if she'll be there _she thought licking her slightly chapped lips.

Arriving outside the main court room the four, no wait – five, adults grouped tightly together. Oliver Wood sneaked a wink at Lupin, in acknowledgement of the peek the werewolf was taking at the one woman's cleavage. Noticing, Severus gave both of the men a stoney glare.

One of the guards outside the door, looking confused, was holding onto four sets of cloth. "You are required to take off your robes and for the males to only wear these turbans on their heads."

"Why?" Shacklebolt questioned, clearly puzzled.

"A new bill was passed this morning ordering it. No exceptions."

The five complied with the guards request and entered the courtroom. Seated on the defendant's broomstick was Albus Dumbledore. He was holding an empty jar in his left hand and in his right was something McGonagall hadnt seen in years. The old musty wooden 'Woody' was glaring at her with its one eye.

If you want more, please please review! It's our first ever HP fanfic! :D


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